


The First Sunset

by autisticromana (eloralouistra)



Category: Gallifrey (Big Finish Audio)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-02
Updated: 2013-11-02
Packaged: 2017-12-31 07:38:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1029024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eloralouistra/pseuds/autisticromana
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's a new dawn for Gallifrey and Romana intends to enjoy it. Narvin doesn't think they'll be able to.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The First Sunset

**Author's Note:**

  * For [agapi42](https://archiveofourown.org/users/agapi42/gifts).



> Set just after series VI, and containing spoilers for the final episode.
> 
> Many thanks to http://ladyromanadvoratrelundar.tumblr.com/ for the beta.

When the Coordinator of the CIA is summoned to the presidential quarters on the evening of Gallifrey’s new dawn, he finds it unexpected but no kind of shock. Narvin has a very clear suspicion of why he is wanted and in only slightly different circumstances, he would have been delighted. Now, however, he can only feel dismay.

Romana’s doors have barely closed behind him when before she’s right there, wrapping her arms around Narvin and pulling him in for a kiss. It’s so sudden that he doesn’t think before responding, kissing her back with just as much passion, his hand sliding into her hair. It’s a few moments before he can gather his thoughts enough to remember why this isn’t a good idea. It’s a few more before he has the willpower to push her back a little.

"Romana, stop. We shouldn’t do this."

She raises an eyebrow. “Excuse me, Narvin? You’ve never raised any complaints before. I thought  _I_ was supposed to be the cautious one.”

"Only time you’ve ever been cautious about anything."

“ _Narvin_.” She looks exasperated but her eyes are glowing with a happiness he’s never seen in her before. It makes what he has to tell her all the more painful.

"All right." He can hardly bear to take away that pleasure so soon after she’s found it, but deceiving her would be so much worse. "Madam President. Romana. I would love to stay here with you tonight, if that’s what you want. But… in the past, on that other Gallifrey, you turned me away most of the time because you had too much to worry about, too much you had to fight for, before you could think about… other things. And the fighting isn’t over yet."

"Don’t be so dramatic, Narvin," she tells him, with a sigh. "I know you think you’ve done something awful, but the worst is behind us now. We still have tidying up to do but that doesn’t mean we can’t be happy yet."

“ _No_. I wish I could let you believe that but I can’t, I  _won’t_ , because it’s not true.” He hesitates. “Look, sit down, let me explain.”

She’s frowning as she follows him to the sofa but she still sits closer to him than is usual, letting their legs brush against each other. “Well?”

He takes her hand. She may not ever want to touch him again when he tells her what he’s done, but she makes him feel braver and he’s going to take his strength from her while he still can. “I thought you were trapped in the Matrix. Forever. And the only way I could think to save you… I had the Doctor sent to Skaro, in the past, to destroy the Daleks in their infancy. I tried to avert the creation of the Daleks.”

They’re both silent for a moment. Romana’s brow is creased in thought and the rest of her face blank; she’s evidently having trouble taking in what he’s told her. Narvin’s staring at her, waiting for her to say something and dreading the moment she does.

"Narvin," she says finally. Her voice is quiet, careful. He stiffens; this is it. "You were willing to destroy the Web of Time? For _me_?”

It’s not what he was expecting. He blinks in surprise, wondering where the anger is. She’s still looking at him in disbelief, but there’s something else beneath that, an expression he’s never seen before and can’t quite understand. He swallows. “I couldn’t do anything else.”

He wonders, briefly, if he should have told her that. It’s a huge admission and Romana has never been comfortable with that sort of thing. But despite a flicker of fear in her eyes, she gives a half-smile and leans in to kiss him again. It’s softer than the earlier one and he’s a great deal more hesitant to break it. When they finally pause for breath, he’s almost able to smile, and things don’t seem quite as hopeless as they did before.

"Did it work?" Romana asks. "I mean, it’s not something we can afford to take lightly, but I can’t say I’d be  _too_  unhappy about a universe free of the Daleks.”

He shakes his head. “No. I checked earlier. The only difference I’ve made… the Daleks find out what we -  _I_ \- tried to do and they’re angry. And I think - I’m so sorry Romana - I think they’ll try to destroy us. Again.” He feels cold as he says it; he’s been holding that thought back and finally acknowledging it is terrifying. Gallifrey’s still in danger, more danger than it’s ever been in. And it’s all his fault.

She groans. “Oh, trust you to make a mistake with something that important, Narvin.”

He can’t help scowling a little at that, regardless of the situation. “I’m sorry, Romana, but it was your precious Doctor’s fault my plan failed!”

"Why get  _him_ to do it anyway? Don’t you have an army of CIA agents at your beck and call?”

"Yes, but none I trust enough with a mission of that magnitude. And _someone_  had led me to believe that the Doctor tends to succeed.”

"Oh really? I take it you just ignored the bit where he hates the Time Lords pushing him round then?"

"I just wanted to save you!" It’s a lot louder, angrier, more defensive than he has a right to be now. "I’m sorry," he says, quietly.

Romana sighs, wearily, and lets her head fall against his shoulder. “So am I.  I suppose this would have happened sooner or later anyway, though. The Daleks have already given it one go and they’re not the type to just give up. Don’t blame yourself for it.” Despite her words, it’s worse than her anger a moment ago. Anger he’s used to and knows how to deal with, but he’ll never know what to do when Romana sounds so defeated.

"But what do we do now?" He needs her to tell him, is lost without her, can’t imagine a life where he isn’t working for her, obeying her, any longer.

"Carry on fighting, I suppose," she tells him. "And hope that it really will be over, one day."

He nudges her head back up to look at her. So much of the light has gone out of her eyes and he hates himself for doing that to her. “Of course. Would you like me to go now?” He doesn’t want to leave her, not when she could still use support but he knows her well enough to know that sometimes, she’d rather be alone in her grief.

She hesitates. “No. Maybe the fighting isn’t over, but that doesn’t mean we can’t still try to be happy. I  _want_ to try. I’ve been through things that have made me question how well I know myself recently, and seen sides of myself that I haven’t liked. And now I want to change that. Even if there’s still work to do, we’re back home, with a new start and I want to use that. I want to give this a try, to give  _us_ a try. If that’s all right with you?”

He smiles, putting his arms around her and pulling her closer, as she leans in towards him. “Yes, my lady.”

They sit wrapped up in each other for a moment, looking out at the city glistening below them, in the light of the sinking suns. Narvin breathes in the scent of Romana and stares out at his world and for the first time, realises how truly  _good_  it feels to be home. He remembers Romana’s words, on the last day they spent on the Gallifrey they never belonged to, in a moment when there was no time for him to comfort her.  _And I wonder if it’s the last time I’ll ever see a sight like that. A simple, honest sunset over Gallifrey._

"The first sunset," he murmurs, and his Lady President blinks at him in confusion, before breaking into a delighted smile.

"May there be many more."

The Daleks will never stop trying to destroy them and they still have a world to rebuild, but this time, they have the time for him to help her, and the home to be happy in. And no matter what he’s done, that’s reason enough to try.


End file.
